So this is my journey. So many of us including myself have a story. My story starts off when I was in Grade 4/5. I remember this quite well actually. It was the first time I remember beginning fat. Yes I said it. FAT. I don’t really know what else to call it. Maybe I should call it “on the pudgy side” or “being thicker” because we don’t like to perceive ourselves as being FAT or hearing that we are. I was a depressive child, and my way of coping with outside stressors was to completely lose myself with food. I was an emotional eater and still technically em. I always have been the one to enjoy the comfort foods, and over indulgences.
I remember being made fun of by my classmates because of my size. I would always hate changing in the change room because of the way I looked. I didn’t want to have everyone looking at me as I changed because I was big. I knew my fat stomach rolls would show when I changed my top, or the bigger sized clothing I used to wear would be noticeable.
I was an active child. I used to play on a recreational baseball team in the summer, and in the winter I use to play on the recreational basketball and rep team for our city. Even with playing and practicing 4 days a week I still did not manage to lose any weight. Even playing outdoors while riding my bike constantly in the summer nothing seemed to work and then again I would take to food to comfort me.
I remember when I was about the age of 12 I ate so much that I made myself throw up because I did not feel like I was full, and I was still needing to feel that comfort. I know you might be saying why didn’t I just stop. Well at that time I didn’t feel like I did eat that much because the deep feelings that I was trying to drown were still there. I was ashamed. I felt guilty for eating that much. I also felt the deep sadness because I couldn’t talk to anyone. I was drowning my sorrows you could say.
When I was in grade 9, around the ages of being 14/15 years old. I was at a good weight and size for me. I remember being around 170 and I was happier because I let go of a few things that were bothering me. I was talking to a therapist at that time since I sought it out for myself. I was getting better emotional and that showed through to my body image. But I know I was still hiding some bigger issues.
Fast forward; I’m in my mid 30’s now, and I weigh 2 pounds less than when I was at my highest. When I was at this weight the last time I was pregnant with my first child. How could I let myself get this big again? I know when you are carrying a baby you are carrying 10 pounds more because of the weight of the fetus and everything that goes along with it. But like holy! How did I end up like this once again.
Once again I knew I was holding onto a lot of baggage that I didn’t work through, but over the last year I have made some changes emotionally. Emotionally I have been able to cope better and release some of the negativity that was holding me down/back in my life. But I still need to make some more healthier decisions, including the food that I eat and starting an exercise program.
So here is ME, all 225lbs of ME. My goal is to lose 55 pounds, which would take me down to 170. I’m 5’9 and that is in the ok range for the BMI range, and I know that I can do it. I’m taking the first steps to help. Going to the Gym. Here’s me on day 1 , and my Journey to a New Healthier Me has begun.
Make sure to follow me along my Journey, How has your Journey changed you?
I would love to hear some of your weight loss tips and favorite low calorie recipes.